Banishing the Boogeyman of Negativity
by Barry Michels
Positive thinking is often offered up as a way out of negative thinking. But as many of you will know, it doesn’t seem to work so well. In fact, forcing yourself to think positive thoughts when under the black cloud of negativity can make the negative thinking even stronger.
So what’s the solution? The way out lies beyond the realm of thinking. Logic and rationality are great tools, but they're not comforting. And when we’re spun out in negativity, what we really need is comfort.
I learned this from my son when he was 5 years old. With some regularity, when he went to bed, he was absolutely convinced that the boogeyman was going to get him. He was convinced of this beyond a shadow of a doubt. I tried facts: We looked it up in the encyclopedia and explained it was a myth. I tried logic: We looked in the closet and under the bed and found no boogeyman anywhere. Still, when I tried to tuck him in he said, “Daddy, I’m afraid of the boogeyman!”
What finally worked was holding him in my arms, rubbing his back, and giving him the experience of someone bigger than him loving him, supporting him, and comforting him. No thinking was required. In fact, what I realized was the goal was to get him to stop thinking.
“Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.”
— BARRY MICHELS
Let me say it again: The solution to negative thinking is not logic; it's not information; it's not even in the realm of thinking. It's the experience of something greater than you, caring about you, loving you, and wanting the best for you.
And the best thing of all is you don't have to depend on anyone else to access this comfort—not a parent, a partner, or a friend; not even God or a higher power. You can offer this comfort to yourself with a Tool called the Grateful Flow.
What does gratitude have to do with comfort? The Grateful Flow Tool helps you recognize that there is something greater than yourself that is constantly giving you things and supporting you. When you feel gratitude then you can use the gratitude itself to perceive the source of the gifts you’re grateful for—the ultimate provider of comfort and care. And in no time you’ll find yourself emerging out from under that black cloud.
