Projection Dissolving
The world is full of difficult people. You can probably think of one or two right now. They may be a spouse, family member, friend, public figure, boss, employee, or neighbor. If you find yourself trying to argue, placate, or convince someone of something, even when they're not there, it's a sign they're taking too much of your energy. Projection Dissolving is designed to help you take back your power and place it squarely where it belongs: inside yourself.
Cues to Use the Tool
Before, during, and after seeing this person, whether it's in a meeting, at a family gathering, or at the end of every day.
If this person is a public figure or even an organization, use the tool whenever you notice yourself thinking too much about
Try It Now
The Tool in Brief
1. Big and Small
Close your eyes and see that person as larger than life—gigantic and shimmering with power, like an actor in a spotlight. Experience yourself as a small, scared child trying to placate, avoid, or (in some cases) challenge them.
2. Reclaim Your Projection
Imagine there’s something in your heart that has projected all this energy onto them, like a movie projector showing an image on a screen. Suck all of the energy back into your heart. This should feel physical, as if you’re sucking something back inside yourself. The person will deflate back to normal size, like a balloon losing all its air. Now he/she is just a normal human being. All of the energy you were projecting outward is now inside you. You feel expanded inside. From this place, the other person is no longer a threat.
3. Apologize
Look at the now-deflated image of the other person and apologize (to the image, not the actual person). Most people are surprised at this step. After all, the other person is the offender, so why apologize to them? You apologize because the dynamic isn’t good for either one of you. It’s not good for you to give them that much power because it leaves you feeling weak, and it’s not good for them to have that much power over you—it brings out the worst in them.
The Gifts of Projection Dissolving
Group dynamics, especially in families, can be like a swamp. Just when you think you're on dry land, you take another step and you're sunk into the mud again. Don't give up. Taking back your power requires diligence. Keep using the tool and you'll eventually see the benefits. Try measuring your success not by whether or not there is a fight or the other person changes but by how many times you use The Tools. Regardless of what happens, if you used The Tools, consider it a success.
