We all experience psychological injuries. Things like rejection, contempt, and disrespect can hurt our feelings and leave us reeling. In some cases, healing from these injuries can be a slow process, but it’s completely possible.

There are some people, however, who like to collect injuries. They feel “done to.” They think they know how the universe should treat them, and when things don't go the way they think they deserve, they default to a constant state of complaint about the mistreatment in their life. They get stuck in a victim mentality.

Victim mentality is the opposite side of the coin from narcissism. While a narcissist thinks they are special because they are above everyone else and immune to psychological injury, the victim is special because they feel specially singled out for injuries. They think that If the world goes through the trouble of injuring them so often, they must be very important.

Victims often maintain their special status through a process we call pre-injury and reinjury. With pre-injury, they tell themselves a story about how bad something is going to be. With reinjury, they keep the original insult alive by continually telling the story, repeating it as if watching a movie over and over. 

The victim attitude destroys potential. If you’re convinced the world is against you, you stop taking the emotional and creative risks that are essential to living a full life. Eventually, you lose relationships and opportunities, retreating to a timid (and aggrieved) life.

Fortunately, there are ways to stop reinjuring yourself and heal your original wounds so you can relinquish your identity as a victim. The following tools, articles, videos, and programs can help.